A Guys Takeout on What Girls do at Sleepovers
by Rurouni-Sano
Summary: Heero and the guys are playing a game of poker... and the loser spies on the girls sleepover! In the middle of winter! Haha, poor... somebody. Anyways, this is not the male fantasy, so it's safe. T for safety.


A Guys Out-take on What Girls do…

At Sleepovers!

Sano- In all my life, there has been one mystery that should probably never be solved: what girls do at sleepovers…

_Lord- So, what we have done is compile a list of ideas of what they do… -Takes out a large sheet of paper, which is covered in Crayon drawings**-** These are your drawings…_

_Sano- I was bored… Here's the real list –Holds up large, official-looking paper- We have divided them into two categories. The first is male fantasy. It has three steps, the first of which is rolling on the bed; second, "experimentation"; and thirdly, comparing breast and other areas of the female anatomy. All of this, of course, being done in front of a video recorder._

_Lord- Of course, that was all male fantasy. The second category is cold hard reality. –Begins to shudder-_

_Sano- Just to let you all know, this was completely my idea, and has nothing to do with this fic. He, however, has kindly volunteered information and to shudder at the cold hard reality. _

_Lord- Ok then, step one through three of the second category, which Heero is to find out soon, is too harsh. In fact, we probably shouldn't venture into this kind of thing, but, as we all know, Sano is insane._

_Sano- Viewer discretion is advised… due to extreme violence and blood and gore. In the form of very nasty paper cuts! –Hits Lord multiple times with paper-_

_Now we venture our minds to imagine what girls do…at sleepovers –Scary music-_

No yuri involved, and no importance at pairings. Read and enjoy!

All of the guys were sitting at a table, playing Poker for the umpteenth time. Duo, somewhat unsurprisingly, had won all of the games until now when Quatre found twenty aces up his sleeve. So now, finally, it was a match of skill and wits. Heero had the ultimate poker face, Quatre with a sense of foreboding, Trowa also had a superb poker face, as well as Wufei, and Duo was wearing that stupid smile on his face.

"Honey, me and the girls will be in the cabin tonight, so you guys are on your own," Catherine called out to Quatre, whose house they were at. Quatre only grunted in acknowledgement, and looked at his decent hand. Catherine rolled her eyes, and followed Relena, Sally, Noin, and Hilde out the door. "We'll be back around eleven!" All of the guys grunted, seeming that this game of poker would determine the fate of the world. Catherine rolled her eyes again, and left the house.

"Shit," Wufei muttered. "I'm folding." He threw his hand down, and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. Everyone else revealed their hands, and Quatre, for the first time, had won.

"Yeah! I won!" Quatre cried out, throwing his arms in the air. He took all of the chips, but before anything else could happen, Duo stopped him.

"How bout we raise the stakes a little higher?" Duo asked the other ex-pilots. "Winner takes all, and he who has the least chips spies on the girls?" he finished, his left eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, Winner will take all, since that is my last name! I'm in!" Quatre said, looking around at the others. They all nodded in agreement, and Quatre dealt out the hands and anted. The rest of the pilots and added to the ante. Quatre looked at his cards, an ace of hearts, king of hearts, queen of hearts, jack of hearts, and a ten of hearts. Duo looked at his and immediately started to yawn and snuck in an ace. Trowa had four pair, and Wufei had a full house, tens over deuces. Heero was left with garbage, and started to panic.

_I'm the perfect soldier! I can get out of this…_ Finally, he had come up with a plan; he would bluff his way out of this mess. "I'm all in," and pushed the rest of his chips in. The rest put in equal amount of chips.

Quatre then asked in anyone wanted more cards. Every one, with the exception of Heero, had refused. Heero then took his two highest, and asked for three. If anything, however, he was hardly better. He only could hope that someone had a worse hand than he. Quatre was ruled out; he had a terrible poker face. He couldn't tell what the others were thinking however; they were just too good. They all revealed their hands, and Heero, having lost and being the perfect soldier, kept his face neutral, and muttered, "All right." However, his mind was thinking something else. It went something like this: Fuck! Now I gotta spend all goddamn night in the fricken freezing cold of this crappy colony… That was the abridged version.

Everyone laughed at Heero, and Quatre got up and handed Heero a flashlight. "Alright, Heero, since none of us knows what goes on at those sleepovers those girls have, it is your mission to find out what they do," Duo said to him, hardly holding in his laughter. Trowa was busy making hot chocolate, and Wufei was busy choosing something interesting to watch on the television.

"Mission accepted." Heero took the flashlight and the thermos of hot chocolate Trowa handed to him. He then went out the back door, and into the forest which bordered Quatre's backyard.

About ten minutes of walking in the snow, he didn't know why they had given him a flashlight. In fact, Heero wondered why he had never seen this place before. It was huge, no doubting that. It was not an ordinary cabin; it was like a small house with two floors made off wood. Heero turned off the flashlight as he neared the light coming out from the windows, and took a swig of hot chocolate. After observing for a few minutes, he saw that the women were watching the t.v. downstairs, and determined that it was safe to enter through an upper window.

Heero climbed up the side of the cabin and entered through a window opposite of were the occupants were sitting. He slid downstairs, and hid underneath a slightly large pile of poofy blankets. He looked around, but could not see much of anything. All he could see was a large couch, the television, which was at least 12-inches, and a seat facing him. He had determined that they were all wearing nightgowns and were deciding on a movie to watch. Sally walked out of what Heero supposed was a kitchen with a large tub of popcorn. _Damn, Quatre, this is what you spend your money on?_

Relena, dressed in a pink nightgown, held up two DVDs, one of which he recognized with dread. It was _The Notebook, _a movie that Hilde had made him see on their first date. The other one he read out to be was _Sleepless in Seattle_, one which he had not seen.

"Alright, girls, what movie shall we see tonight?" Relena asked the rest of her company.

"Ooh, I wanna see _The Notebook_; it was the first movie I saw with Heero!" Hilde said excitedly.

"Nah, let's watch the other one, I haven't seen it yet," said Noin.

"I'm with Noin; let's watch _Sleepless in Seattle_," Catherine said.

"I say we watch _The Notebook_, also; it's a classic," Sally said.

"Well, I, too say we watch what Sally and Hilde want; it is the first movie they ever saw with their boy friends," Relena said, breaking the tie. All of the girls giggled, and Relena put in the DVD, and they all watched the movie without ever getting up. _Damn, when the guys and I watch something, we can't go ten minutes without having to stop the movie… _So Heero spent nearly two hours having to watch a movie he had seen at least a dozen times in the last month; Hilde somehow had gotten him to watch the movie over and over again.

After the movie was over, the girls moved upstairs, into what Heero guessed to be a large room, since the noise was coming from one area. So, he snuck back upstairs, and hid around the corner. Luckily, there was a large mirror on the door, and Heero could see what they were doing; it looked like they had found some green glue and had spread it over their faces. Then, they lay down in chairs and seem to have fallen asleep.

Back at the Winner residence…

"I wonder how Heero's doing," Quatre said, looking out the window into the forest

"Don't worry; knowing him, he'll be fine. I mean, he has done worse stuff before, right?" Duo asked.

"Yeah. I mean, he did achieve world and space peace twice," Trowa responded calmly, intent on watching _Die-Hard _and drinking his twelfth soda. When he finished, he threw it over his shoulder and it landed in a pile with a clang.

"Hey, Quatre, don't you have security cameras in your cabin?" Wufei asked.

"Yeah, in case…" Quatre started, but realization dawned on his face.

"Security cameras? Then why did we send Heero out there?" Duo asked, waving his arms wildly.

"Clueless as ever…" Trowa said. He got up and followed Quatre and Wufei out of the living room and into the computer room. Quatre opened a few windows, and finally got to a security camera viewing into the living room.

Duo, finally realizing what was happening, said, "So, all we have to do is wait…"

After an hour, midnight to be exact, the girls got up and started to leave the room. They entered the bathroom, and Heero heard the sound of running water. A few minutes, they left the room and headed downstairs again. Heero had only enough time to jump down the flight of stairs and bury himself into the pile of blankets before the girls entered the living room.

"I'll get the ice cream," Sally said, and entered the kitchen again. The freezer could be heard opening and then closed again.

With a jolt of horror, Heero saw the girls reaching for the blankets he was buried under. "I want the pink one!" Relena exclaimed, and with a second jolt of horror, realized that he was near the pink one; if removed, Heero would be completely visible to the enemy. Luckily, though, something had obviously broken in the kitchen. As if Sally needed saving, all of the women rushed into the kitchen to see what had happened. Heero took his chances, and ran to get behind the television. A few minutes later, the women came back in, grabbed the blankets of their choice, and sat in a circle eating vanilla and chocolate syrup ice cream.

"So, Sally, how's Wufei?" Hilde asked Sally.

"Well, he's as quiet as ever, and hardly does anything," Sally said through a mouthful of ice cream. She swallowed, then continued. "I think that if I want to get anywhere, I'll have to ask him, instead of the usual way…" she finished sadly.

"Aw, that's sad," Relena said, giving Sally an one-armed hug. "Well Duo is quite funny. We always do things together. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked at Christmas." Heero had no idea what she was talking about, but obviously the others did, and they all giggled excitedly. Duo, watching via camera, was staring at the screen opened mouthed and Wufei looked slightly angry.

"What business do these women have anything to do with Sally and mine love life?" Wufei yelled.

"How did she know?" was the only thing Duo said.

Back at the cabin…

"Well, I can sympathize with you Sally. Heero doesn't do much with me either, but we do go out to nice dinners every once in a while," Hilde said to Sally with a nod. She had another bite of ice cream and said, "Hey, maybe we can go on a double-date! That would be nice!"

"Hey, what about us?" Catherine asked indignantly.

"Well, you and Quatre seem to be going on quite well, and I only invited Sally and Wufei cause they don't do much!" Hilde replied tartly, and finished off her ice cream. "I'm off to bed; I have a report to finish off." And without another word, Hilde stomped upstairs.

"Phew. Think it's her time of the month?" Noin asked. Heero again had no clue what she meant, but the women knew what she meant, due to all of the nodding they were doing. "Well, Trowa is also silent, but we do a lot. In fact, I think he may also ask around Christmas time…"

Back at the house…

"Man, we should not be doing this," Quatre said grimly.

"Yeah, but this is better than watching that crappy… what's that guys name again?" Duo asked. The rest of the guys only shrugged and turned their attention back to the screen, with the exception of Trowa, who was sitting in a corner.

"Y'know, I think that women can read the minds of men…" Duo said.

"Well, I hope they don't, cause if they do, we're in deep trouble…" Quatre said.

Back at the cabin…

The four girls went on talking for at least three hours before they started yawning, and another hour before they drifted off to bed. During this time, Heero was resisting the urge to break through the window and run headlong back to the house. But somehow, he had managed, and by four in the morning, he had gotten back to Quatres' house. The others had seen him coming, and went to the television to pretend to be watching something. As he walked in, they all turned their heads and waved in greeting.

"So, how'd it go, Mr. Spy?" Duo asked.

"Don't ask. Right now I just need a strong drink," Heero replied, and Quatre got up to make five. "All I have to say though, is that we should never, ever make a bet like that again."

Duo then asked, "Hey, Quatre, aren't there cameras in the bed room?"

"No, for a very good reason, also."

The other four exchanged grim looks, and watched t.v. until their girlfriends had gotten back. Somehow, through major hangovers, they had demanded that they make breakfast.

FIN

_Sano- Well, that should give us a general idea about what girls do at these sleepovers. Also, we learned to never call Sano crazy, seeing as he is the sanest one out of the two of us, eh, Lord?_

_Lord- -Sporting many bandages and mumbles yes-_

_Sano- Hey, I have a funny joke to share. One of my female friends asked why guys had such small hips. I simply shrugged and said, "Well, guys don't have to carry as much!" Not the right thing to say, apparently..._


End file.
